Dear Zara, Usually I like to think that I'm pretty good at writing, but this letter has a different feeling to it. I’ve got something really important to tell you Zara. As you’re reading this, you’re beside the river, and I’m standing in front of you. My heart is no doubt pounding out of my chest. It’s just, I felt like if I didn’t do this soon, I might never do it. I’m being really brave right now, ok? Sorry, anyways, I’ve been thinking a lot lately. A little bit about church and normal things, but there’s this one thought that has been absolutely consuming me. At first it was small, I could push it down and forget about it. But over time this feeling grew and grew until I couldn’t ignore it any longer. All of my life I’ve had this idea that I will grow up, find a loving husband and start a family with him. I keep hearing people talk about how wonderful it is when you love somebody in that way. For the longest time, I didn’t know what they meant. But now I do. These thoughts, I am told, are wrong. Against nature. Against Him. I have repented over and over again and have prayed to His Grace to send me a man for me to love with my whole heart but He has not. This is not to say that I haven’t tried to find one myself. I’ve had lots of guy friends throughout my life. Samuel, some guys at school, Flit. But I’ve never felt that ‘spark’ that so many girls our age describe with any of them. The adults just tell me that I haven't found the right guy yet, and that everything will go according to His plan. But I’m not a little kid anymore, I know what love feels like. I know what it feels like to have your heart flutter when they walk past you. I know what it feels like to fantasize about spending the rest of your lives together in a beautiful house by the seaside. I know what it feels like to imagine them holding you in their arms and telling you how much they love you. I know what all of this feels like. But you’re not a boy Zara, and I think I love you. You make me feel like myself again. That I don’t have to pretend to be anything but my truest self around you. When I’m around you nothing is sinful, it is just the purest form of human happiness. Love. In a world where I’ve been told there is only one path to salvation, you have made me realise there is so much more. I’m sorry if I am coming across a bit strong, I just wanted to give you my feelings in their most raw form. You don’t have to do anything in response to this letter, I just really, really needed to tell you. Though I think my heart will explode either way. The last thing I want is for this confession to make things awkward between us, so if you don’t feel the same or anything, please just throw it into the river and forget about it, ok? Love your best friend, - Rivka